Make yourself heard

Err... most of my stuff and time right now has been sort of whisked away by MULTIPLY and well, I'm enjoying it over there.  So in case you guys wanna see what's currently going on with me (or at least some online stuff I post about), head on over to my multiply site (http://deanedward.multiply.com).  I'll still try to post some stuff here but chances are, the updates will be focused on multiply.  See ya there!

a full court basketball game only needs 5 players on each team.  teams however, have a maximum number of 12 players.  while 5 players are playing on the court, the rest are seated on the "bench."  these are the people who are reserved for different reasons...most of it boils down to the fact that it's the best players that are given more time to play on the court and the rest of the team is just there in case something goes wrong.

these people who've been on the bench almost the whole time of their career are called benchwarmers.  i'm not really sure why but maybe because sitting down on the bench for prolonged periods of time does warm up your behind and subsequently, the bench in the process - thermodynamics:  heat transfer and stuff.

so how does it feel to be like on the bench?  for some people, it's a nice place because you can cheer your team and be very close to the action without necessarily being in the middle of it.  for some people... it's the perfect place to be because you don't really need to do anything but just watch; let your teammates do the dirty work because it's the whole team that wins anyway - not just the ones who played the game.  you also get paid...maybe not that much but you still get paid to just sit down there and wear your uniform.  for others, it's the worst place to be.  some people want to be part of the action and not being part of it...by being on the reserve section of the team can be pretty frustrating.  a benchwarmer may be thinking under the lines that his team/coach thinks that he's inferior that's why he's not being made to play.  a man on the bench is very anxious to be part of the game...and do what he believes only he can do to make the team win.  usually, the benchwarmers are the new players in the team and at some point in their career, it'll be their turn to shine.  some get their chances, some spend the rest of their careers on the bench...anxiously waiting for their turn to show what they can do...anxious to be noticed, given attention and praised for his greatness.  maybe at some point, a benchwarmer may even wish for the downfall of his teammate so that he can be given a chance to take the spotlight.  bad as it sounds, it's not far from happening...especially if the desire to be noticed overpowers the desire to support the team.

*Honey and Clover Season 1 spoiler(s) alert* (read at your own risk)










while life isn't really a game, there're times when people feel like they're just being put on the reserve list.  there're many instances when these things do really happen.  this particular reflection was inspired or maybe triggered by a situation in honey and clover season 1.  in summary:  ayu likes mayama, mayama likes rika.  other significant characters in the situation are nomiya and hanamoto-sensei.

so the situation goes...ayu likes mayama a lot but mayama doesn't receive her feelings nor does he reject her outright.  mayama on the other hand, likes rika...but rika is still attached to her departed husband that's why he sometimes hurts mayama.  nomiya steps into the picture and tries getting close to ayu...mayama stands in the way.  nomiya and mayama talk - nomiya asks why mayama is interfering and tries to analyze mayama.  he wonders... if mayama wasn't pushing ayu away because he's keeping her "on the bench" like a plan B or a reserve in case his pursuit of rika doesn't work out.  nomiya wonders why mayama is tormenting ayu in their situation when in fact...he's interested in somebody else.  so when nomiya starts making his move, mayama gets all bothered, paranoid and stuff.  next:  hanamoto-sensei also notices how mayama is very protective of ayu as if he were her mother.  hanamoto-sensei tells mayama (this was during a festival that they attended) that if he can't be by ayu's side every festival then he has no right to interfere with ayu's private life...and this was happening while nomiya was starting to get close to ayu.  nomiya and ayu talk about mayama and ayu basically describes to nomiya how much mayama means to her.  nomiya asks ayu... if she did in fact wish mayama and rika to fall apart and she admitted to it.  for the 3 characters (ayu, mayama and rika), it isn't really a love triangle but more of a love line.  ayu >> mayama >> rika >> dead husband.  while this isn't 100% the story, it's very close...i just can't remember the order but these are the important details.  for those who haven't seen honey and clover season 1... apologies for the spoilers haha...

while mayama denies that he's simply keeping ayu on the bench... that can be the starting point.  for anyone, unrequited love can be quite painful and tiring.  a person can only persist so much... up to a certain point.  somebody told me that ayu was quite silly because she was still holding on to mayama even if she knew that it wasn't going to work out for them.  it makes sense...but i had to defend ayu from that person and i explained that even if ayu is acting like a total idiot, that thing which she has for mayama is her only treasure thus she holds on to it and is not willing to give it up just yet...even if nomiya has been by her side during her lowest moments. 

*my thoughts and speculations...these aren't part of honey and clover but these are my thoughts on it*
at certain times, mayama is nice to ayu...maybe so that she won't go away.  maybe for ayu, the bench is the best place to be.  fine, she may not be getting centerstage attention from mayama because mayama's attention is on someone else, but at least ayu is still part of the game and is still in close proximity with mayama even if it isn't really the happiest place to be.  it's painful...but for her, maybe it's better that way.  but just like any long-time benchwarmer...these unfavorable conditions might find their way into the heart of the person and consume him/her.  true enough...ayu did wish that mayama and rika fall apart so that maybe she'll finally have her turn.

outside honey and clover, these things may happen too.  there will always be someone who will stand out...and everybody else might have to take a back seat.  sometimes, we admire this person who stands out...sometimes we envy that person...sometimes we hate that person for standing in our way.  well, we can't have everything and there will always be times when we just have to accept our role in whatever endeavor we're in.  but whatever the case, these things are meant to be treasured, cherished and valued even if they're not exactly the best things out there.

I have to admit, I've really slowed down on posting here at Vox but I'll be trying to post more often.

In the meantime... is it just me or is Vox also being a little sluggish at times?

The end of summer is something pretty unclear.  Some claim that summer ended when we had consecutive days of rain towards the later half of the month of May while some claim that summer isn't over yet since we still have bright and hot days even though it's almost midway through June.  For me, summer ended last night when the clock struck 12AM to signify the start of a new day.  June 12 was the end of my 2007 summer.

The end of summer also means the start of the rainy season.  I often hear people disliking the rain because it depresses them.  Rain for them means gloomy days ahead.  On the other hand, rain has this strange ability to bring things closer together.  When it rains and water starts to gather, the borders and boundaries of things become blurred.  What used to be apart from one another is joined by the rain.  Rain connects the disconnected; it serves as links to the pieces of the world.  On a rainy day, people get closer too.  They gather under one roof for shelter, and they stick close to one another under the protection of a small umbrella.  People come together when it rains.

Rain is also a source of nourishment for the earth since it provides water.  Rain is a necessary element in the cycle of life in the natural world.  Since rain nourishes and enriches natural life, it allows living things to grow and become bigger.  It serves as a instrument to help things grow and flourish.  The presence of rain prevents the natural world from death; rain brings life.  People are like the rain too... there are people in our life that are like the rain to us.  These are the people who look for us just like the rain which can reach places not normally reached.  These are the people who always know where to find us.  These are the people who are there and help us grow up and become bigger.  Being under the rain makes one want to just grow infinitely; reaching immeasurable heights and unlimited horizons.  Rain just has that effect on the world.  Perhaps we have people who are like the rain to us or we are also the rain to some people.  Either way, it brings people together.

The rain also has the ability to cleanse the earth.  Such a clear example would be the story of Noah:  when God was angry at the world, he sent down huge amounts of rain to rid the world of evil but kept his chosen people safe by informing them ahead.  Rain as it trickles down on things washes away the dirt on the surface and restores things to how they usually were.  Or maybe not just their original form, but rain also adds a bit of shimmer on an object as it reflects the light rays that bounce on it.  Tears are like the rain.  People get teary-eyed when they have something in their eye... a piece of dirt, a speck or something similar.  The tears wash them away.  People also shed tears when they cry and people cry for different reasons.  Whatever the reason, after shedding tears and crying, that heavy feeling that has been welling up inside has been washed away by the tears...just like the rain.

Rain also has the ability to blur appearances.  Rain has the ability to conceal something from the presence of others.  When one looks at something from a distance under the falling rain, it looks as if there's a wall or a sheet of glass that stands in between the object and the subject.  The difference is... this is a wall which can easily be penetrated given the fact that rain is liquid thus does not have the properties of solid and gas.  One can literally walk through the wall of rain to reach that object.  But again, when viewed from a distance, one cannot have a precise perception of that object because of the rain that stands in between them.  And the way the rain stands in between the subject and the object isn't constant - sometimes the rain falls down just vertically, sometimes at an angle, sometimes the raindrops are small and sometimes it's big.  With all these factors coming together, it becomes really hard to see something under the rain.  It also becomes difficult to figure out the emotions of people under the rain.  If you see person standing under the falling rain, could you tell if the person is crying or not?  Perhaps... or perhaps not.  How do you tell which are his tears and which is the rain?  It becomes difficult...almost impossible.  Perhaps this is one reason why people prefer to cry under the rain - so other people won't notice it.  Somehow, the rain also heightens our emotions...and as we all know, the "crying under the rain" scene is often used in many dramatic moments on movies, films, shows and even in real life.  It could also be that they want to be cleansed of their sadness and be one with the earth.  The rain does have that effect after all...the cleansing properties.

Too much of something can be bad and while rain does have its positive side, it can also be very destructive.  When rain gathers... as in huge amounts of rain gathers, the divisions of land become blurred and eventually the place is flooded.  Being terrestrial creatures that we are, floods can cause problems and sometimes even death.  Rain can also make people sick (literally and figuratively) depending on the conditions.  Whatever the case, people have to be on the lookout for themselves (and maybe others too) when it rains.  The rain has that effect on people.

As mentioned previously, some people don't really like the rain while some people like it.  Some people like the rain but stand under the shade or an umbrella while some people just prefer the rain to fall down on them.  Personally... I like rain but I'm not really fond of umbrellas.

Thus, the end of summer... the end of bright and sunny days to make way for the rainy season.  As Nelly Furtado says - all good things come to an end and I add to that so that there's still room for even better things ahead.

Extra tidbits
-Rain also shapes the world in terms of clothing.  People have developed raingear to protect them from the rain but since clothing has gone beyond mere protection but has also reached the level of fashion... well, people get to wear different things too when it rains.
-"End of Summer" is a hentai title (composed of I dunno how many episodes) which was made about a decade ago.

Yesterday wasn't exactly a good day so let's not talk about that but today turned out to be a very good one.  Here're the highlights:

1) It's my sister's birthday / birth anniversary (May 8 1987)
2) One chapter down on the thesis
3) It rained pretty hard today

In one of my earlier posts, I was talking about rain and how it can be such a good thing.  I'm not sure if today was pure coincidence of that fact that these three elements came upon me and poof... had a good day. 

Water, in the form of rain can be a good facilitator for things to revolve.  What has been dried up by the sun now is given another chance of life by being provided for by nourishing water.  Perhaps in the same way with persons, "rain" (in whatever form) helps bring life back to people who are in drought of whatever it may be.  Now that things have began to revolve again, I'm hoping things keep going on a positive note.  Just a few more weeks left for me...and the rainy season will be back again.  In the meantime, let's cherish the remaining bright summer days we have.

Once again, I haven't posted anything in a long while and this is perhaps the longest time so far that I haven't posted anything.  Thus, things have been pretty quiet over at this side of the Vox but thanks to Lami's comment (maybe a li'l wake up call as well), I guess I can write about something.  The post drought came along during the time of preparation for the conference I mentioned previously.  It's not like I didn't have anything to write about (in fact I had a lot of things going on in my head to write about) but I just didn't seem to have the motivation to put my hands on the keyboard and let the words form themselves on the screen. 

And I just ran of things to talk about... just kidding!

It's definitely summer over here and everyone can just feel the heat.  Since it's summer, there's no (or barely any) rain at all... if ever there is, sometimes it's just a small drizzle which eventually doesn't help at all in terms of cooling things down.  I know it's a futile attempt but I've been praying for rain to fall... perhaps a good amount of rain to fall down.  Rain is basically water...and we all know that water is a very necessary thing for nourishment for the living beings.  Rain has no definite time of arrival...despite having seasons, it's not something that we can dictate our thoughts on, it's not for us to decide when, where and how much rain will fall.  What we do instead is compensate for this by reading the signs of rain - we find them in weather forecasts everywhere.

(Let's not try to be too literal in reading this)
Rain is a source of nourishment.  For plants, they would die without it; they could not grow without it.  Much as this is true, we know for a fact that there are other means for plants to get the nourishment that rain can provide - from bodies of water or even from man-made efforts.  However, plants are basically at the mercy of nature and/or man.  Some plants are fortunate enough to be given a regular dose of nourishment while some have to contend with the cycle of nature.  Rain doesn't only have nourishment as its selling point but it's also a way of cleaning things by washing them away as the water flows.  In the Old Testament, God sent forth a massive storm and drowned basically everything and everyone he did not warn about it.  Some look at it as an act of cleansing the world of its dirt.  Yes, rain can do just that - clean whatever it falls on thus helping it to heal and become better again.  As we have noticed, rain can be both good and bad but what we're interested in is how rain works for people.

Fortunately for us, we don't really need to just sit down and wait for rain to come falling down on us.  We have been given the ability to seek the nourishment that rain provides on our own.  We can find rain in different people and different places - in our family, our friends, our colleagues, even strangers.  Rain allows us to grow and become better.  As much as we need rain, we can also be the rain to others...sometimes even to ourselves.  Some people rely on others while some people tend to do things on their own.  Apart from being able to provide nourishment, rain can also cleanse us...sometimes it even mask things beneath it.  If one were to stand under the rain, it would be hard to tell if the person was crying or not.  Rain can distort one's appearance providing a whole new look.

Whatever the case, when the rain falls, it touches everything on the earth, trickles down on things that it doesn't fall on at first and eventually flows to the ground to reach places known to be unreachable.  At the end of the day, rain falls to the ground, coverges with all the other raindrops and flows to the bodies of water...eventually uniting itself with the ocean which binds all the land together.  From every single unique raindrop, comes a unity forming a huge body of water which provides nourishment to just about everything.

Rain... it's a wonderful thing.  As Hilary Duff would say... Let the rain fall down

Umm... a plaque of appreciation and a li'l envelope?

First of all... happy easter to everyone!  We all know the reason why we celebrate this day - it's the resurrection of Jesus Christ who died to save us all.

Here's the story...I woke up early today (before 7AM I think) and I suddenly found myself thinking of things... like what easter is all about.  So I was able to conclude on some things - the lessons that Holy Week has for all of us except that I forgot the 3rd one (because I was probably still half asleep/half awake by this time).

1)  To Love
2)  To Forgive
3)  (I really can't remember this one)

It's sad because it was such a beautiful trinity that came to me this morning and I just can't remember it...waaaahhh!!!

Anyhow...happy easter everyone!

A quote (not the exact quote but the thoughts are the same) from Honey and Clover (again):